Junpei, er, Rody is L33t!
by Straya
Summary: Another entry via brainstorming of the Budehuc Bad Ficcers! Thomas is seeking the one who holds his heart, but will true love triumph? Dedicated to Asuka, i luv j00 grrl!


_Disclaimer: Genso Suikoden III and all related characters are copyright Konami. The really awful sense of humor, however, is copyright to myself and Kailan (Asuka). ph33r t3h_l33t 1s!!!!11_

**"Junpei--er, Rody is L33T!!!11"**

Thomas fiddled with the vase arrangement a little bit, hoping he could make something decent of the flowers he'd chosen even though he had never really been taught how to make arrangements. Nervous as he was, he could barely concentrate on which colors went well together, or the lengths of the stems. Someone had once told him that you needed to cut the stems at an angle so they could pull in water efficiently and stay fresh longer, but he had completely forgotten in his anxious hurry to put the boquet together. 

Would it be good enough? Did he even care for flowers? Could one male give another flowers and expect a favorable response? Thomas wasn't sure, as he had so little experience with relationships. Love seemed such a foreign concept to him; the only love he had ever known was parental love, and even that had been cut off at a young age. His real father had certainly been no help in teaching the young man about the birds and bees. The master of Budehuc continued to fret as he set each lovely little flower in place, tying a dark blue ribbon about the white vase to complete the ensemble. Honestly, would his meager offering be enough to win the heart of the one he had been admiring from a distance these past two weeks? He sniffled a little, trying to force down the butterflies in his stomach. 

When all was as ready as possible, Thomas took the vase in hand and left his bedroom to meet with his object of affection. He wondered how the gift would be recieved; he prayed that the gorgeous brown eyes of his love would widen in surprise and admiration. After all the trouble the castle had experience recently, it would be so nice to have someone to confide in, someone to hold him and tell him things would be alright! 

Finally, the young castle master reached the rendevous spot - the bow of the ship behind Budehuc. Setting the vase down on the railing, Thomas waited with his heart pounding up in his throat. He had left his love a little note in the comment box, signing it only as "a secret admirer." Would his message be answered? Thomas, himself, was right on time, but he appeared to be the only one on the ship. His heart sank like a dying bird, plunging from the sky. Perhaps he had been found out too soon and frightened his love away.... Oh, what would he do, then? Surely the entire castle would find out, and his rejection would become total humiliation before all the Fire Bringer! 

Suddenly, footsteps sounded on the deck behind him, and Thomas turned to see the one he so loved approaching with a smile on his face. Oh, thank the runes! As the other waved a bit, the evening breeze catching his raven black hair and playing through each strand, Thomas felt his heart soar. This was it, this was the moment he'd been waiting for! 

"Oh, Rody, I was starting to think you wouldn't come!" Thomas blurted out suddenly, blushing furiously as the other boy reached his side. 

"h3y th0m4s!!! h0w r j00?!?" came the odd response, Estella's apprentice offering a broad grin. 

The crazy accent completely caught the brown haired youth off guard. What on earth? "R...Rody? I'm sorry, but...I don't think... What did you say?" 

"LOL!!1 1 h4v3 t0 sp33k w/l33tn3ss, u kno??! izn't it teh_funneest th1nG uve 3v3r he4rd?!!!!11" 

Thomas stared. Was Rody mocking him?! And he hadn't even noticed the flowers! "Rody, I asked you out here because... well, because... How could you SAY things like that to me! I can't understand a thing you're saying!" 

"s0rry but 1tz z0 p4rt 0f teH trainn1g u kno?" Rody giggled at that, apparently amused by the whole situation. "OMGWTF d00d!!!!11 c00L fl0w3rs!!!!111!!!!one11!!!" 

Unable to take anymore, Thomas burst into tears, his fragile, weepy uke heart shattered into a thousand, unsalvagable pieces. His one true love didn't appreciate him! How could he go on!? Lunging over the railing, he threw himself to the rocks below, the vase of flowers falling with him as he clumsily knocked it over with his ungainy leap. Rody made a grab for the young master's leg, but alas, he was too late! 

"0h FUx0rZ!!!!11" Rody exclaimed in horror as he stared down at the broken body on the rocks below the ship. 

At that moment, he was joined on the rail by none other than the slinky woman labelled by everyone on the grounds as the lie spreading two-bit whore. But, mind you, past all the thick, crusted layers of slut makeup and skin tight leather, she was a real gem of a human being. 

Estella glanced at her student and then at the body below. "Is that Thomas down there?" 

Rody nodded, still in shock. "d00d, OMGWTFBBQ?!?!?!1 y'd h3 d0 that?!!?" 

"It is? Oh, what an awful shame," the witch responded after a moment, one eyebrow raised. "And I see you're still hard at work, practicing as I asked! What a good boy you are, Rody. Your L33tness is almost overwhelming! In fact, I think it was so overwhelming, our poor master of Budehuc couldn't stand it. ...ah, wait, I see some movement down there. Could it be he survived?" 

Indeed, a whiny voice echoed up from the rocks. "Uh, excuse me? I seem to have failed in the hasty, yet angst ridden decision to end my life over lost love. Can someone, um, pick me up? Or at least end the suffering? I sort of can't feel my legs down here..." 

Estella thrust Rody's broom into her apprentice's hands. "Alright, Rody, you heard the child! You must save him, BUT! as everyone well knows, magical flying brooms only respond to those who speak with definite Transylvanian accents! So, in order to save Thomas, you must ask the broom to fly you to his aid!" 

"Ah! Very vell!" Rody replied, taking the broom and mounting it with determination. "Hang on zer, Thomaz! I vill zave you!" 

"Good child, and while you sweep him from those treacherous rocks below, I'll fetch Dr. Tuta!" Estella said in a tone of urgency and importance before hurrying away, waiting until she was a safe distance away to start cackling hysterically. Oh, she would fetch the doctor, since there was no way in hell Rody could get that damn broom to fly, but all in all, the situation was too funny. 

Such silly children. 

********** 

_AN: Rody x Rody's L33tness = OTP!!!!11!one!!!1eleven11PIE!!!!!_


End file.
